WHAT KIND OF PARENT ARE YOU - BOMBAY TIMES 12102013

WHAT KIND OF PARENT ARE YOU 
Parenting, child counselling, adolesence  
The parenting style you follow can go a long way in shaping your childs personality.Read on to find out whats your type

Krutika Behrawala 


While there is no guidebook to help you learn parenting,years of research have categorised parenting into broadly four categories over-anxious,friendly,authoritarian and spoiler parents.According to experts,your style of parenting can go a long way in shaping your childs personality.Heres looking at these styles and their outcomes.

Type: 


The authoritarian or tiger parent 

Is that you: 


Have you ever confiscated your childs phone if he/she has not cleaned his wardrobe or slapped your kid because of a mistake he/she made If yes,then you are an authoritarian parent.This parenting style involves high expectations from parents,but little communication with the child.In most cases,parents dont provide logical reasoning for rules and limits,and are prone to harsh punishments.

Outcome: 


This type of parenting style largely has disadvantages.Counsellor Dr Pradnya Ajinkya says,Outcomes include depression,anxiety and poor social skills.The child becomes withdrawn,doesnt spontaneously get involved with other children,doesnt ask questions,doesnt laugh and smile,and has very spare speech.If you have a naturally shy kid,that doesnt mean hes unhappy.But youll have to work harder to read his signs or your parenting style. 

Whos your on-screen counterpart 


Captain Von Trapp in The Sound Of Music.At the beginning,he uses military style to disciple the children.

Type: 


Spoiler or indulgent parent 

Is that you: 


If you cut down on your own expenses to buy that expensive mobile phone your child wants or run from pillar to post making sure you get all the notes that your child missed in school,you are most likely to fall into this category.

Outcome: 


While it may make your kids happy for the shortterm,this kind of parenting misses the point of leadership to equip our young people to do it without help.Child psychologist Niru Chheda says,Children can grow up to be fragile and have a problem when it comes to adjustment because their demands have always been met with. 

Whos your on-screen counterpart 


Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada.She might be an authoritarian at work,but when it comes to her daughters,she goes to any lengths to fulfil their demands including going all out to get the manuscript of unreleased Harry Potter book.

Type: 


Over-anxious or paranoid parent 

Is that you: 


Do you insist on using knives,forks and chopsticks at a restaurant or dont want your child to travel by local train because you fear he/she will meet with an accident Well,these are signs of a paranoid parent.

Outcome: 


Over-protecting and getting paranoid over children can have adverse effect on them.Kids are more likely to grow into teenagers who are bored,cynical and joyless.The truth is,kids need to fall a few times to learn and that is normal,"says Ajinkya.

Whos your on-screen counterpart 


Erica in Black Swan.As an over-protective,competitive mother,Erica brings out the worst in Nina Sayers,essayed by Natalie Portman.

Type: 


Friendly parent 

Is that you: 


Have you learnt to play video games to bond with your child or ask for your kids approval when you want to buy an outfit for yourself If you behave as an equal with your kid rather than being an authority,you are likely to be a friendly parent.

Outcome: 


Says Chheda,This is considered to be one of the best styles of new-age parenting,where parents guide their children and treat them as equals.The child grows up to be a secure human being and learns to share.However,as a parent,a little firmness is required when you feel that your child has made a mistake. 

Whos your on-screen counterpart 


The cool dad Phil Dunphy in the TV show Modern Family who uses a parenting method that he calls peerenting,which is a combination of talking like
a peer,but acting like a
parent.





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