Emotional and angry outbursts can encourage resentment
The couple X and Y are married since 4 years. They share a number of differences. They continue to live in the marriage and minimize their differences. Then one day it began with a simple drive. She began to irritate him. She criticized him. She spoke about his parents and siblings. He took it all patiently and silently. He wondered if he was at fault. Then the two hardly spoke. Suddenly something strange happened. She got out of the car and walked away. She did this earlier too. This time he sat there watching her. Did he stop caring for her?
In counselling he remembered his wife leaving his car in a huff several times. However, when he talked about this incident he broke into tears. I suggested he may be angry. He protested he loved her. The question here is : Did he understand love and did he understand anger?
For the couple : Hold a sharp object in the palm of your hand. The harder you squeeze the more you suffer. If we cast blame on others like, "she is ruining my life." It is like blaming the sharp object for our pain. Releasing anger and resentment is like releasing our grip of the sharp object. However, you have the right to be concerned about your differences.