Relationship: Getting past your past - Deccan Chronicle - 21st August 2015

When it’s about matters of the heart, second comings are all the more sweeter. Cricketer Dinesh Karthik married squash champ Dipika Pallikal this week, and it seems to be the real deal for Dinesh, especially after a bitter break-up with his childhood sweetheart, Nikita, who married his best friend, cricketer Murali Vijay. Now that Nikita has married Murali and Dinesh found the perfect partner, it’s a classic case of ‘all’s well that ends well’.

Tennis champ Mahesh Bhupathi too is happily married to actress Lara Dutta after a divorce from model Shvetha Jaishankar, and badminton player Chetan Anand, who was married to badminton star Jwala Gutta, has settled down again.

Bitter break-ups notwithstanding, experts say that complete closure is the only way forward to a happy life. Counselling psychologist Dr Diana Monteiro says, “You can never be truly baggage free since it actually helps you get better. You learn a lot from the bad things that happen in life, rather than the good ones.”

Dinesh and Murali also bump into each other during cricket tournaments. Then how does one deal with the awkwardness? Clinical psychologist Dr Seema Hingorrany says, “Instead of avoiding the issue, you need to address it. In such situations, acknowledge your ex with a nod or a smile. To get past your past, there should be complete emotional closure, otherwise it will still affect your life.”

A bad break-up ends up affecting an individual’s confidence and it’s tough to move on, but time can be a great healer. Psychological counsellor Dr Pradnya J. Ajinkya says, “There needs to be a metamorphic change in yourself. For this, we use therapies like transformational counselling and correctional counselling.”

“You talk about your emotions. Rediscover yourself, travel... but don’t jump into another relationship. Your brain needs at least a year to heal,” Seema adds.

And when you’re a public figure, your life is viewed microscopically. Senior relationship counsellor and psychotherapist Dr Rajat Bhonsale says, “If you have closure, there are no hard feelings. Pooja Bedi and Mahesh Bhatt are excellent examples of sharing a warm relationship with  their exes.”