Thursday, December 17, 2015

Are you suffering from New Parent Syndrome? Garvita Sharma, TNN | Dec 12, 2015



Are you suffering from New Parent Syndrome?


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Image Credit: Getty Images

Half-finished sentences, inadequate time for your partner, newer responsibilities and fewer sweet nothings -is this how your life looks post the birth of your child? You are going through the New Parent Syndrome. According to a new study, after starting a family, parents kiss their partner less often, sex decreases, outings with friends reduce and `alone couple time' is a forgotten concept.

Being a new parent comes with its own share of responsibilities and difficulties. The entry of a new member may create anxiety amongst couples, and they may have a strained relationship with heir partner due to an invasion of privacy.

City-based counsellor Pradnya Ajinkya says, "This syndrome is influenced by a range of demographic, social and attitudinal variables; but not everyone experiences his syndrome."

Post the birth of their son, who is now 13 months old, marketing professional Harish Kelkar noticed significant changes in his wife, Varsha's behaviour. She had mood swings, would get irritated easily and started being unreasonable.Family therapist Padma Rewari explains, "Postnatal depression, which occurs due to hormonal changes, is one of the primary causes. During this phase, women start looking at things in a different light.For instance, even though the behaviour of the husband has remained the same, like speaking less, the wife gets annoyed and thinks his interest in her has reduced after the birth of their child."

For working women, this phase is the most difficult. She adds, "She begins to stay at home a lot more, and feels her husband is not devoting time at home and is always finding excuses to stay in office."

Interestingly, even men get affected by the New Parent Syndrome.Pradnya adds, "Since the wife's attention is now diverted towards the child, men can also feel ignored.They think their needs are not catered to and feels the love his wife has for him is divided."

Ego hassles also lead to problems in the relationship between new parents. The question of `Why should I speak to you first?' is one among the prime reasons for communication issues between them.

HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO TO REVIVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Stop listening to everyone and get your own assessment in place. Filter information when listening to others; too many voices create worries that may not even exist. Use your discretion. Only you would know how to resolve an issue with your husband wife the best.

Adds Padma, "Reach out and don't let ego come in between. Tell your partner what you expect of them and be there for each other." After having kids, couples tend to put romance on the backseat. Going for a walk, talking about things other than everyday situations (similar to your early married days) can help restore your relationship.

DOES AGE MATTER? Being a young parent comes with its own share of quirks. Younger couples tend to listen too much to others.

When young women discuss their mother-in-laws, their minds are conditioned to look at things with preconceived notions. Middle-aged couples, on the other hand, have a proper plan in place before they expand their family. Late pregnancy, owing to various reasons, means the couple has consciously planned on having a baby and are thus equally committed in his/her upbringing. They go through every process together and don't tend to drift apart since the levels of maturity are high.

IS THERE A RIGHT TIME TO HAVE A BABY?


While the question may seem to have obvious responses based on a couple's readiness to undertake a responsibility, there are certain pointers that need to be kept in mind before you plan a family: Being financially stable is of utmost importance. Kids' education and their upbringing requires good financial backing. The idea is to keep saving and not let that be the reason behind delaying your first child.

Being emotionally prepared is equally important. You should be mentally prepared to have a baby in order to bring him/her up in a healthy manner.

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