Healing and renewing marriage relationships By Dr. Pradnya Ajinkya


Case: Amaira has been yelling at her husband. It doesn't matter about what she would like to communicate. He feels threatened when she picks up a conversation. After being together for eight years, Bose feels as though he is dying inside. He has seen his parents yelling, his neighbours yelling and now his wife. Bose is upset about his wife's behavior. Bose and his wife are talking about having kids, but Bose is afraid that she will yell at the kids too. He loves her immensely but he does not understand her given way to handle conflict. Amaira is asking Bose to seek psychological help since according to her, she is able to externalize her feelings but Bose she feels suffers from more agitated depression that makes him moody, irritable and blaming.... 

Therapist: He has no idea what he said, but he could see his wife's face tense up and then snap. Pretty much every time they were together, she would fly off the handle and the fights would end with her screaming, crying and abandoning him. He would keep apologizing , lest he be forced to walk on eggshells all the time. For a while he started to think carefully about his own behavior to see if he may have done or said something to cause his wife's behavior. He really internalized this and thought he was a bad husband. After some more experiences he realized that she was not logical and a reasonable person and that he was held hostage by her intemperate emotions. No matter how deep the psychological problems and the way the couple feel, identify effective and ineffective ways to communicate. No matter how deep the trouble we find ourselves going through, we can still find much for which to be thankful...Thessalonians 5:16-17, Always be joyful! Always keep praying! 

Comments

  1. Very similar to what I was experiencing a couple of years back when My wife and I met Dr. Ajinkya. What Dr. Ajinkya helped me with was to change my response to such situations. She brought me out of the stage of immense confusion and sadness and made me confident. While helping me keep the larger perspective about the sanctity of marriage and parenthood. She showed me how by keeping myself calm and at peace, prepared me well for such violent outbursts.

    I know that there are no easy solutions to life's problems, especially when minds play tricks with you as is the case with my wife. But now I am definitely at a point where I have got my focus back on what can not suffer because of this situation I.e my sons future, my job on which a lot depends and my own composure all of which are very essential, while I keep trying to win my marriage life back.

    Dinesh

    ReplyDelete
  2. Difficult experiences are not always harmful. If you can embrace the concept, it can make you stronger, smarter and happier, while you keep trying to win back your marriage.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment