Showing posts from September, 2016

Is your over possessive nature killing your relationship? by Arushi Dutt - Aricle in Femina

One of the most dangerous expressions of love is over possessiveness. Though this can sometimes be considered a form of flattery, an excessive amount of it is never healthy. Detect the signs of over possessiveness early on in your relationship to avoid problems later on. Here is our guide to help you out:

What is over possessiveness?
• Over possessiveness is characterised as a combination of emotions like jealousy, anxiety, and insecurity. 
• Those who have been overly loved, overly neglected, or overly pampered growing up are always looking for attention, according to Mumbai-based relationship counsellor Dr Pradnya Ajinkya. This translates into a domineering behaviour towards your partner later on.

Signs you or your partner is over-possessive
• Constant calls or text messages every hour or so from you or your partner is a sign.
• You or your partner restricts the other from interacting with friends of the opposite gender.
• There is an intrusion of privacy. You or your pa…

Parent-child communication : To know you is to trust you -- By Dr. Pradnya Ajinkya

Case : Amira handed over her keys. Her mother wanted her car keys. She told her mother that all they would find inside her car were her novels and a pair of shoes. Amira's mother describes how she watched her daughter go from kindergarten to all her levels in college. Every minute she would be getting out to look for her daughter. However, recently she watched as her ruin seemed to unfold before her. Her daughter buckled and she was on her knees, sobbing and insisting her mother to trust her. Her mother found her secretly talking to someone in many settings. Her mother was 59 years old. As the volunteer of a classroom programme, Amira was a constant presence with the participants on the campus. But the growing distrust from her mother made her afraid of spontaneity and surprises,” she said. “I just want to be safe.” and "I just want my mother to be safe."
Therapist : In the mother, she finds a master planned city where drugs, alcohol, bars, etc. have been methodically pur…

STRANGER DANGER- Keeping children safe -By Dr. Pradnya Ajinkya

Case Study : Piyush is a 5 year old boy studying in grade I. His parents feel that he may need special help and  bring him to counselling. Parents report that Piyush appeared so sad and distracted since a few weeks. The teachers alerted the parents about Piyush and his recent isolation and poor school performance. The parents and teachers made several attempts to talk to the child but Piyush has refused to talk to them. He continued to suffer alone and seemed confused and afraid to the extent of asking his parents to stay back home.
Therapist : Request to interview the child alone. When the child came to therapy for the first time he was so embarrassed and fearful of what would be asked and how much he should reveal. However, the child was made to feel courageous and strong rather than weakness and welling up. Then suddenly little  Piyush stood up and revealed the bruises on his back and abdomen.  Asking about his life at home and school, he said that there were no problems at home and…

Preparing for a psychological marriage by Dr. Pradnya Ajinkya

Case: Love bloomed between Sukhi and Ben. They exchanged feelings online,  messages, videos, love poems and songs. They seem to be having a terrific time together. They are instantly impressed by each other."I have met the woman of my dreams," .... Ben. "I can't drag my feet with real love," .... Sukhi. They leap into their feelings like there's no tomorrow. They have a desperate and fateful urge to make this feeling permanent. The couple express their intention to marry immediately. They feel marriage is the guarantor of their happiness they are enjoying together. It will make permanent what might otherwise be fleeting. They want to bottle their joy. After seven years of their marriage and with two kids they feel they have bottled the wrong ingredient of joy. 

Therapist: I am sure couples marry to make their feelings permanent. However, there is no causal necessary connection between marriage and this sort of feeling. The feeling was produced online, a time…

Rain and rainbows : Finding comfort in your marriage By Dr. Pradnya Ajinkya

Case: Sunil finds a letter his wife wrote to a friend praising him and saying that  she feels an insurmountable void and sense of sadness when she remembers him and misses him.   When he got home that night and she served him dinner, he held her hand and said that he wanted to tell her something. He did not know how to confront her about the letter but he had to ask her about her feelings towards him. Then he calmly asked her, "Do you want to leave me"? She finds him crazy and depressed. Sunil wonders if this is normal behavior. Sunil wishes everything is better but six months later he finds another letter from his wife written to another friend saying that she feels an insurmountable void and sense of sadness when she remembers him and misses him. He can't wait to see if it really makes a difference in his relationship and decides that she wants to end this marriage. The hardest part of it all is her loving expressions in the marriage and the then her 180 degrees swing…