Is your over possessive nature killing your relationship? by Arushi Dutt - Aricle in Femina

One of the most dangerous expressions of love is over possessiveness. Though this can sometimes be considered a form of flattery, an excessive amount of it is never healthy. Detect the signs of over possessiveness early on in your relationship to avoid problems later on. Here is our guide to help you out:


What is over possessiveness?

• Over possessiveness is characterised as a combination of emotions like jealousy, anxiety, and insecurity. 

• Those who have been overly loved, overly neglected, or overly pampered growing up are always looking for attention, according to Mumbai-based relationship counsellor Dr Pradnya Ajinkya. This translates into a domineering behaviour towards your partner later on.



Signs you or your partner is over-possessive

• Constant calls or text messages every hour or so from you or your partner is a sign.

• You or your partner restricts the other from interacting with friends of the opposite gender.

• There is an intrusion of privacy. You or your partner feels the urge to check each others’ phones, email, or social media accounts.

• You or your partner dictates the others’ terms from the kind of clothes to wear, to who to hang out with, or in an extreme case, who to hug or kiss amongst your family or friends.


Address this behaviour in a healthy way:

• Ask questions of self-introspection to know why you behave this way. 

Communicate with each other about how much you love and value each other. Similarly, discuss your insecurities or fears with each other to build trust and confidence in each other. 

• Work on yourself by focusing on your strengths, qualities, and values.

• Develop your relationship by engaging in your interests and activities. Give yourself personal goals to work towards, rather than obsessing over each other.

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