Saturday, September 24, 2016

Parent-child communication : To know you is to trust you -- By Dr. Pradnya Ajinkya


Case : Amira handed over her keys. Her mother wanted her car keys. She told her mother that all they would find inside her car were her novels and a pair of shoes. Amira's mother describes how she watched her daughter go from kindergarten to all her levels in college. Every minute she would be getting out to look for her daughter. However, recently she watched as her ruin seemed to unfold before her. Her daughter buckled and she was on her knees, sobbing and insisting her mother to trust her. Her mother found her secretly talking to someone in many settings. Her mother was 59 years old. As the volunteer of a classroom programme, Amira was a constant presence with the participants on the campus. But the growing distrust from her mother made her afraid of spontaneity and surprises,” she said. “I just want to be safe.” and "I just want my mother to be safe."

Therapist : In the mother, she finds a master planned city where drugs, alcohol, bars, etc. have been methodically purged. She couldn't bring herself to trust her child. She was not the mom Amira knew. She shared a natural rapport with her. The club house had given Amira's mother a desk at the front office of a counselling care, which provided an up-close view of countless parental melodramas. Amira tried to calm her down. Did she have anything in the car she shouldn't have? No. This is only temporary, her mother explained. She apologized over and over again. She now looked like she was okay with everything. “For the record, my daughter is very intelligent, mature and artistic and has successfully participated in many programmes. She is receiving good grades and has earned many awards year after year. She is not corrupt by any standard. I trust my daughter......,," she said.

We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future. - President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

2 comments:

  1. Some time we as parents and as daughters are not open enough in our approach. Mother concerned about the safety of her daughter is nothing wrong on the whole but may be her behaviour leads to a distrust in the daughter. A good case study how to deal with children as well as with parents. Your posts are really helping in coming across various incidents and how to get that resolved if problems exists and not to make further issues. Thanks a lot Doctor for such wonderful counselling.

    R. Srivaramangai, Head, UDIT, University of Mumbai

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  2. After i experienced panic attacks a freind recommended me to Dr Pradnya. Dr has a unique way of forming a close and personal bond and makes you feel at ease when opening up to her. She is like a motherly figure. With her excercises, her soothing and caring presence i am recovering faster. She is really a blessing to me.

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